David Kuval, my boss, stood slowly, and leaned forward towards me putting his hands on his desk. “The question you have to ask yourself Payne, is do you really want to be the homicide department head.” He said the words with a serious, concerned tone that made me want to laugh. I’m not sure why. Truth is just about everything most people say makes me want to laugh. Go figure.
He was serious and concerned today because I had apparently screwed up his plans to ascend the Richardson Police Department food chain to the exalted throne of Police Commissioner by not “cooperating in a full and open manner” with the vice department, commonly referred to as “the asshole department.”
“This is about me stonewalling the asshole department, isn’t it?”
He looked down at his desk, took in a deep, slow breath and exhaled as he sat back down. His eyes looked tired as he raised his gaze from the desk. “Yes Nick, it is. And I have to say I’m very happy to hear you admit to it. Can you explain to me just why you did it?”
Cue heavy sigh from me. “Sure… here’s what happened. Last Monday morning, right after shift change, I’m at my desk, trying to achieve consciousness when Mike’s phone rings.” Mike’s my partner. His desk sits face-to-face with mine. “So Mike picks it up and has one of his Mike conversations, he’s like ‘yeah…yeah…yeah…right’ and hangs up. Then he looks at me and starts to chuckle.” Kuval frowns as I continue to talk. “So he’s just sitting there, looking at me and chuckling and not saying shit. So I ask him ‘What’s funny?’ and he says ‘That was Peterson’ and I say ‘Peterson from the asshole department’ and he nods and says ‘he says you need to drop what you’re doing and bring him everything you have on the Williamson case..’ Now picture this, Mike’s chuckling, like he just heard a joke that’s a little funny but not so funny that you actually bust out laughing, but then he starts to really get into it, he starts laughing so hard I swear he was tearing up a little. And then he says ‘Peterson says he needs it… On The Double’ and Mike just fucking loses it. He’s laughing like I’ve never seen him laugh. I mean people are looking at him.”
“Peterson actually said ‘On The Double’?” Kuval’s frown somehow gets frownier.”
I raise my hand to continue the story. “That’s what I asked, I mean after waiting for Mike to finish his laughing fit, which lasted like two plus minutes. Hell, I could’ve gone for coffee. Anyway, Mike nods and says ‘that is EXACTLY what he said.’ So I say ‘huh’ and start to think about it.”
“What’s there to think about?” Kuval says, shaking his head.
“There’s actually quite a lot to think about. I mean, just what does ‘On The Double’ mean?”
“What are you talking about? It means fast. Peterson wanted the file fast.”
“Ok I get that, but just how fast?” Kuval opens his mouth but my raised hand stops him. “See, my question, the big question in my mind, is this: does ‘On The Double’ mean faster than ‘ASAP’ or not as fast? That’s the big question in my mind.”
He stares at me for what seemed like a very long time. Then he looked down and shook his head. “So what happened then?”
“Then I call Peterson.”
“To ask him that question?” Kuval looks back up. His face is a little tight, like he’s afraid to hear my answer.
“A couple questions actually. So I call him up and I say ‘this is Payne. I got a couple questions for you,’” Kuval’s face goes frowny again. “First, why did you call Mike if you wanted something from me? And second, does ‘On The Double’ mean faster than ‘ASAP’ or not as fast?”
Again Kuval looks at me for a long time before speaking. “What did he say?”
“Nothing. He hung up on me. Then I’m guessing he called Felton, his boss to tattle on me. Right?”
Kuval closed his eyes and nodded. “Right. And then Felton called somebody.”
“You?”
He shook his head and gave me a flat look. “He called Shambly.”
Hearing the name “Shambly” actually shocked me. He was the current commissioner who was about to vacate the office to run for governor. “Well shit.”
“Funny, that was my reaction when Shambly called me.” His face was a little sad, disappointed.
“Dave I’m sorry.” He nodded. “I’ll get the files to Peterson.” It was very, very hard not to say “On The Double”.
He nodded. “What else?” His look was serious and for some reason I felt no desire to laugh.
“I’ll apologize.”
“Thank you.” He nods. I start to leave when he starts talking again. “We’re not done.” He jerks his head towards the open door as I turn back into the room. “Close the door.”
And I’m scared. I close the door and sit down. My smart mouth suddenly does not feel too smart.
“Do you know why this upsets me so much?
I shrugged. “It makes you look bad to the commissioner?”
He shook his head. “Not really. Shambly knows the score. He actually thought it was kind of funny,” he took a long breath. “Just between you and me, I’m not worried about getting the commissioner job. That’s pretty much a lock.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“The problem is, who replaces me?” He looked at me and clearly expected an answer.
“I don’t know Dave.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“Just that, I don’t know.”
His open hand slams down on the desk hard enough to rattle the office windows. “Jesus Payne! I do not understand you! Are you familiar with your stats?” He stood and started to pace behind his desk.
“My stats?” I now knew exactly where this was going.
He was gesturing with his hands as he spoke. “Your stats. You’ve got the highest closure rate in the city, maybe in the county.” I actually have the highest closure rates in the city, the county, and was second in the state. “Imagine if you headed the department and could teach just a few of the other homicide detective your stuff.” His voice was hard, serious and a little angry. The thing is I had imagined it. And imagining it made me both excited and really scared. Because what if I couldn’t? What if all the things that made me a great detective made me a really lousy department head? Could I live with that? I knew that I couldn’t. His voice shocked me away from my doubts. “So what will it take for you to know? What will it take for you to be sure?”
“I don’t know! Do you need and answer today? Right now?”
He sat down and sighed. “Not today. But soon.”
“Well just how fucking…” my question was cut off by a knock on the window of the door. I looked around to see Mike then back at Dave. He jerked his head and Mike opened the door.
Mike’s face was blank and serious as he spoke.
“Sorry to butt in..Nick, you’ve got a call,” there was an odd formality in his tone that was not like him.
“Can you take a message?”
He shook his head. “You need to take it. It’s your cousin Teresa.” He took a breath. “I think it’s about your dad.”
