Hello fellow Texans! You may have noticed that the weather has turned a bit nasty. The evil liberal media machine no doubt used their Evil Satanic Dark Powers to cast a shadow on our Mother Texas.
Because of this, many of you are cold, possibly wet and cold at the same time (my peons tell me this really sucks!), and you probably don’t have power.
This might make you think that my God-Picked legislation has not done their jobs very well
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Remember, the power is ALWAYS on for those who believe correctly (in me and in GOD). So if your power is out that just means you don’t have enough faith.
So you see, you’re to blame for this.
You should be ashamed.
